Feeling better...

Lynda and Cynthia, I really appreciate you guys checking on me. Lynda, you seemed to have self-appointed yourself my check-point; I love it. Your keeping me in this, and I really appreciate you.

I'm feeling better now. I know we all have our ups and downs, but I used to have downs like a lot. I may have even been depressed, I don't know, I never went to a doctor about it. Then, I decided that I needed to change something in my life, we weren't happy, I wasn't happy, and I didn't know how to make it better. I got started in the Dream Team, and I started learning about the universe, and I decided that I needed to not worry about things as much as I had been; not at all if I could help it. Worrying about it doesn't change it, all it does is stress me out, and in turn, stress those out around me. And all I was doing by worrying was focusing on the negative, anyway. I haven't been so down in such a long time; it was pretty bad. I didn't do anything this weekend, especially Sunday. I just laid in bed; I could barely force myself to get up for anything. I didn't want to get on the computer, I didn't want to watch TV or a movie, I didn't want to read a book, I didn't want to do anything. So I didn't. I just laid there in bed all day. My husband tried to snap me out of it, but I wasn't having any of it. And, yeah, we're having a hard time right now. But things aren't as bad as all that yet, so there was no need for my moping. I spent the whole day worrying about something that could, might, possibly happen if we didn't get things turned around. Its not happening yet, we're still in this fight, we're still struggling, but we're still in this fight. So, I know that I just need to snap out of this funk.

I'm also tired of using different excuses to not do a workout, or anything. I've been bloated, and sore in particular places, and I know I said last week its about that time, but dang it it seems every month it takes longer and longer from the time my symptoms start to the time it actually happens. Any day now turns into a week, and then 2 weeks, and then it finally happens and then what? I'm supposed to take 3 weeks off because of yucky symptoms? Not having it. That's just ridiculous. So, I'm going to do a workout today, and I'm actually looking forward to doing a little kickboxing tomorrow.

I'm debating about whether or not I should "reset" my challenge. I have until the end of May to join in, and then the 12 weeks of the contest. I'm wondering if I should take another "start" picture, and reset the calendar that I'm on now. I had a rough start, with getting sick the first week, and then spending the last, oh about a week, in a completely depressed state, not really wanting to do anything, so I didn't. I'll think more about that.

I started my new job yesterday. There are so many things about this one that I like; I'm getting paid more than any of the others, I don't have to work a set schedule, basically as long as I get my work done, I'm ok. One thing I'm not sure about is that I'll be typing the whole time; my hands just don't work like they used to, and the last couple of years, I've been working editing only jobs. Well, the editing jobs don't pay as well, so I'm thinking I might be better off just doing straight transcription, but we will see. Another thing is that its an Orthopedics Clinic, which I hate orthopedics, and I'm doing one doctor for now, which I always said I would probably be really good at, so long as the doc was a good dictator. Well, he's not. But, yesterday was my first day, and I tend to get overwhelmed and frustrated when learning something new; i.e., the system, the doctor, and the rules of the hospital. So, will update more on that later.