My reason

So, ok. Its official, so now for the announcement of why I am giving up, quitting, pausing, whatever you want to call it. I'm pregnant. So, obviously, I can't be on a diet anymore, and I can't try to lose weight; its not really healthy for the baby. So, I'm going to concentrate on eating healthy, and keeping active, and having a healthy baby. So, I'll be back in about a year, ;) picking back up on this.

The end.

Well, I figured out the reason for my funk. A lot of you were asking about me, and I really appreciate that, so I didn't want to leave you hanging on for another day, so I thought I would post real quick to say, this is the end of my journey. For now. I won't be moving forward from here for a while. I'm not giving up, I'm not quiting, I'm putting a pause on this particular road of my life. For now. I'm going to concentrate on staying active, and I'm going to certainly eat right and healthy, but I cannot diet any more and I will have to watch my activities. And I will tell you more tomorrow.

Still trying to get out of my funk...

Yeah, I'm still trying to get out of my funk. Things are definitely better; we took care of the problem, and its not so bad. I'm hoping for more good things to roll in now.

We went and signed up for the gym yesterday. I, personally, prefer to work out at home. But, I don't have any way to do cardio at home, unless I want to run around the block. Hello, ever spent summer in Texas? I don't think so. But, that's not why we joined the gym; its just an added perk. The real reason we join the gym every year is the swimming pool, for the kids especially, and the yoga classes. They offer yoga 4 nights a week; I don't think we'll be going that often, probably twice a week, but even then, its worth it. Its worth it for the pool, and something to do on hot summer days when we don't have any money to do something else. They are offering a water aerobics class; I would love to do that, for my "off" cardio days, but its an additional charge, and I don't think I can come up with that just now.

I'm still waiting for IT, and I'm still bloated and sore and cranky and craving stuff. I haven't done anything all week (any workouts), and I need to get over this funk!

Hope everyone has a great weekend; I don't know if I'm off on Monday or not. Speaking of work, *sigh*. I guess its ok; I just don't like not being good at my job. So this one doctor they have me on just sucks really bad. He has a hand held device, and he sets it down and walks away while he's talking, so he's all echoey; and then there's all this background noise that interferes. Its like, they don't care about us, at all, they just want us to get this done for them; it doesn't matter that there's an actual human being on the other end of that dictation that's going to try to muddle through the mess to make actual English out of it. And its not like, every once in a while, no, its every single 10-minute dictation. I hate this guy, alright? I'm not going to lie! Well, I get through him pretty fast, still, even though I can't catch half of what he is saying, so they gave me another doctor. One that actually knows the part of the device that you SPEAK into for a loud and clear dictation. He's super easy. But, its still not enough work for me; I'm running out before the end of the day, and as of this morning, there was nothing for me to do. I know its not they don't have the work; its that they are putting me on it 1 doc at a time, which is sort of frustrating; I haven't had to do training like this since I got out of school. I can't tell if I'm antsy cause I just want to start making money already, or if it's really bothering me the way they are doing it. Well, I'd say its an even 50-50 of both ;).

Feeling better...

Lynda and Cynthia, I really appreciate you guys checking on me. Lynda, you seemed to have self-appointed yourself my check-point; I love it. Your keeping me in this, and I really appreciate you.

I'm feeling better now. I know we all have our ups and downs, but I used to have downs like a lot. I may have even been depressed, I don't know, I never went to a doctor about it. Then, I decided that I needed to change something in my life, we weren't happy, I wasn't happy, and I didn't know how to make it better. I got started in the Dream Team, and I started learning about the universe, and I decided that I needed to not worry about things as much as I had been; not at all if I could help it. Worrying about it doesn't change it, all it does is stress me out, and in turn, stress those out around me. And all I was doing by worrying was focusing on the negative, anyway. I haven't been so down in such a long time; it was pretty bad. I didn't do anything this weekend, especially Sunday. I just laid in bed; I could barely force myself to get up for anything. I didn't want to get on the computer, I didn't want to watch TV or a movie, I didn't want to read a book, I didn't want to do anything. So I didn't. I just laid there in bed all day. My husband tried to snap me out of it, but I wasn't having any of it. And, yeah, we're having a hard time right now. But things aren't as bad as all that yet, so there was no need for my moping. I spent the whole day worrying about something that could, might, possibly happen if we didn't get things turned around. Its not happening yet, we're still in this fight, we're still struggling, but we're still in this fight. So, I know that I just need to snap out of this funk.

I'm also tired of using different excuses to not do a workout, or anything. I've been bloated, and sore in particular places, and I know I said last week its about that time, but dang it it seems every month it takes longer and longer from the time my symptoms start to the time it actually happens. Any day now turns into a week, and then 2 weeks, and then it finally happens and then what? I'm supposed to take 3 weeks off because of yucky symptoms? Not having it. That's just ridiculous. So, I'm going to do a workout today, and I'm actually looking forward to doing a little kickboxing tomorrow.

I'm debating about whether or not I should "reset" my challenge. I have until the end of May to join in, and then the 12 weeks of the contest. I'm wondering if I should take another "start" picture, and reset the calendar that I'm on now. I had a rough start, with getting sick the first week, and then spending the last, oh about a week, in a completely depressed state, not really wanting to do anything, so I didn't. I'll think more about that.

I started my new job yesterday. There are so many things about this one that I like; I'm getting paid more than any of the others, I don't have to work a set schedule, basically as long as I get my work done, I'm ok. One thing I'm not sure about is that I'll be typing the whole time; my hands just don't work like they used to, and the last couple of years, I've been working editing only jobs. Well, the editing jobs don't pay as well, so I'm thinking I might be better off just doing straight transcription, but we will see. Another thing is that its an Orthopedics Clinic, which I hate orthopedics, and I'm doing one doctor for now, which I always said I would probably be really good at, so long as the doc was a good dictator. Well, he's not. But, yesterday was my first day, and I tend to get overwhelmed and frustrated when learning something new; i.e., the system, the doctor, and the rules of the hospital. So, will update more on that later.

Monday, Monday

Hi Lynda. Thanks for checking up on me. I haven't disappeared, I'm just sort of down in the dumps these past few days, I've had some personal issues going on that are really stressing me out. I just sort of gave up this weekend, and didn't really do much of anything. WHen I get like this, depressed and just want to give up on everything, its all I can do to just tread water and try to stay where I am without losing ground; there's no way I'm going to be able to continue forward. I'm hoping to feel better today, but I don't know yet. We will see.

Thanks again, Lynda. You are such a good friend to be there for me when I need someone to pull me back in.

Finished a project...

Thursday; I did my TT workout yesterday, but chose not to do anything today. I felt I needed the break, plus I don't want to push myself too far too fast and burn out. I spent the day cleaning the house, rearranging dishes in cabinets and stuff. I've actually had a very interesting day; found a frog in the pool; or a toad, whichever. It had a smaller one on its back; I stuck a log in there so it would have a perch. While I was cleaning, I left the doors open for the cats to get out; later on that day, one decided he was going to catch him a snack, bring it home, and play with it. I was not pleased.

Currently looking for a new job; have an offer from today, probably will take it. I'm not very patient when it comes to waiting for stuff to come in. There were 2 in particular I was banking on, but its been a week, and I haven't heard anything, so I'm thinking I'll take this one.

So, I finished a project that has been ongoing since the beginning of April. It was a blanket for my niece; I wanted to give it to her for her birthday party at the end of April. I might could have finished it, if I hadn't gotten sidetracked one entire week I had unexpected family in. I had most of it done for the party; I gave it to her, so she could see it, and then took it back to finish it. After the party, I took about a week and a half off of it, since I had been pushing it pretty hard beforehand. Finally picked it back up this week, and finished it today. Here's the pics...





I crochet the blanket, and then cross-stitched Eeyore on. Don't worry; I have a list of more projects in the back of my mind to work on ;)

My sister is pregnant, so I want to make her a baby blanket; and I have a basket full of red suede yarn and gray chenille yarn waiting on me to pick a design to turn them into ;)

Hump Day

I'm feeling pretty good today. I was able to do a workout yesterday, did a little Turbo Jam. I was a little tired after; sort of drained. I think the shower I took immediately afterward was too hot, or something; I just had no energy for the rest of the day.

A few years ago, when I was taking those pills that are like speed the doctor gives you for weight loss, I used to wait until after the kids were in bed before I did a workout. This was when my husband was working second shift, so I was home alone, and it would be 8-9 at night, and I would go in, do a workout, stumble into the shower, and then crash out. I feel like that's the kind of workout person I am; I don't get energy after I workout. I don't do that now, because I get off work at 3, and then I have an hour all to myself before anyone else comes home. I don't like working out with other people in the house; I'd rather just have my alone time.

I feel like I need a nutrition brush up; I've been doing low carb for so long, nearly a year off and on, that I don't even know what's good for me anymore; I'm sort of brainwashed into the low-carb thinking I suppose. I don't mean that in a bad way; its just hard to overcome those habits of "I can't have that, its a carb" to "Can I have that? Is it healthy?" I'm ok with the veggies and stuff, its the other stuff I'm stuck on. Like, potatoes are so weird, their veggies, but their also bad, or something, and then rice is iffy too, so its all confusing. I have a lot of e-books I can read to sort of reinform myself with, I just need to get around to reading them. Its on my list ;)

I "met" someone today; she's on the Fit Yummy Mommy forum, and she is also a TT-er! LOL. We've only had the one conversation, but its neat to meet someone doing the same thing as you.

As the days go on, it sort of gets harder to know what to say. I feel its silly to just come here and say, yep, I did it right, and that's all. But, I'm not really much of a talker in person, so I guess that's ok, too. I have no plans for tonight, so I'm hoping to have time to look over a few of the nutrition e-books I have, refresh my memory as to what is good and what is ok and all that jazz.

Going strong

I did well yesterday. I did my TT workout, and I was huffing and puffing and shaking by the end of it. I didn't do my intervals afterwards; I was too fatigued. I can only imagine that I will feel like Wonder Woman once I am able to do all 3 circuits of the workout, instead of just 2, and that when I am done with the workout, I will be able to do intervals. I can only imagine...

Not too terribly sore today, so that's good. I can still feel it, but I'm not hurting so bad I'm falling into my chair to sit, so that's even better. I plan on doing some cardio today; possibly a kickboxing tape. I have like, I don't know, 4, lol. Have I mentioned before that I'm a workout video junkie?

So my sister came over yesterday, and was talking about her government stimulus check that she got in. How she and her husband only got $300 per, and not the $600 we've all been lead to believe. I thought that was a mistake; how could they possibly only get $300 per person? Well, Jon looked it up on the internet, and it looks like they've either changed the rules or reworded them. At this point, we don't know what we're getting; supposed to get it before Friday, but its going to suck to only get 1200 when we were banking on 1800. Stupid lying government.

So, my whole "I'm never ingesting artificial sweeteners again" kick is partly because of past research, but something that sort of tipped me over the edge was a movie/documentary we watched this weekend; Sweet Misery. It talked about a lot of things that I already knew, but sort of makes it more real, more serious, ya know? Well, there is a second part to that movie, called Sweet Remedy; we started watching it yesterday, but didn't finish. Now its got me all stressed out about MSG; have you looked at what all that's in? Its in EVERYTHING. I mean, wow. I don't even know how to begin to cut that out. I'll have to do more research for this, but its so scary how bad things really are, in so many ways.

Monday the second

Morning all. Doing well; need to up my workouts. I know this, but I can't do anything about my ability, other than continue to work at increasing them. Today was supposed to be my ESE day, but I think its about that time, so I'm just going to concentrate on not eating anything bad and forgo the 24-hour fasting for this week. I'm in a really bad munchie mood. Yesterday was an off-day; first I started it off with no electricity in the morning when I woke up, which caused me to not be able to work for the first hour, and then my computer was giving me fits, so I had to back up my folders on a disk, I had to clean off and format my harddrive, and then put everything back on the harddrive. In that process, I realized a lot of the stuff I had backed up was lost or somehow didn't backup properly. There's no telling how many videos I've lost; a few of my emails I've saved from different nutrition and exercise people I've lost, and I just realized this morning that I lost my "homeschool" folder, which is full of stuff for me to have the kids do over the summer to keep their brains from going mushy from TV and video games all summer long.

Anyway, I was highly stressed about that all day yesterday, and I didn't realize until this morning that I hadn't done any measurements. My weight is not down, but like I said, I believe its about that time, so we will give it another week and see what happens. I'll just wait till next week for the measurements. I'll spend this week making sure to increase my workouts; I have got to get past the soreness. I can't spend 3 days recovering from 1 workout; I know that will get better with time.

It seems like I go through phases of my eating. I don't know how to explain it; its easy to say its hormonal and its just "munchies", but I can eat a lot when I get like this; and not just bad food. I will eat good food, but still eat a lot. And just last week, I couldn't even finish my breakfast, and wasn't having lunch, that's how uninterested in food I was. I don't know why I do that; I don't know if its an "all in my head" thing, or its just normal to go through those phases. Does it even out? Me not eating for a week or 2 but a couple of meals, and then a week or 2 practically gorging myself, I'm consuming lots of calories; or is it one of those things were one offsets the other, and I need to find a balance and just eat the same all the time? I can't tell. I feel bad when I'm in the gorge phase, but then when I'm in the "not interested in food" stage, I feel like its ok, because it makes up for all the eating I did the week before. I don't even know if any of that makes sense.

My goal for this week is to do the workouts as planned, and come up with 2 new meal ideas. I need to drink more water, which shouldn't be too hard, since all I have to drink now are coffee and tea. No more diet drinks for me.

I can't wait for summer.

Blah

I was a little piggie today. And yesterday. I got some almonds, and just ate the heck out of them. They are gone now, so guess what? No more almonds for this little piggie. I can't just have a handful and be done with it.

I know that on one of my first posts, I said that I was going to try to quit drinking diet Dr. Pepper, but I wasn't sure if I could do it? Right. Well, I'm doing it. I'm not even going to try to "wean" myself off, its done. I'm getting rid of what I have in my fridge, I'm going to scour my pantry for anything else that has aspertame in it, and I'm done. I refuse to do the fake sugar thing, so I trained myself to drink tea without any sugar; and I am now to the point that I don't take sugar in my coffee. Its absolutely ridiculous that our options for any kind of premade drink or anything out there is either full strength sugar or fake sugar. Can you buy one of those little 20 oz bottles of unsweetened tea? No. Its either corn syrup or fake sugar. Well, that's ok, cause I got my own. and, besides, more money for me, and not them.

Not intending to go on a completely fumbling bumbling rant that probably doesn't make any sense anyway, but the point is, no more aspertame, or splenda, or fake sugar of any shape or form, for me. And guess what that includes? Gum. Yup, that's right. Even the gum that's not "sugar-free" has aspertame in it. So, no more gum for me. Which is fine. I don't need it.

I'm getting silly. It must be my bedtime. Goodnight all. Manana, manana.

ITS FRIDAY!!!

And I'm so glad. Week 1 is under my belt; wait, can I say that, if its not Sunday, and I missed my first 2 days of a workout, and then got so sore from Wednesday's workout that I missed Thursdays workout and only stretched?? Oh well. I'm learning it doesn't have to be all or nothing, you do what you can do with what you have to do it with. I was sick, so I couldn't workout. I'm still really sore today, so I'm going to do my weekly house-scouring, hope that will loosen me up a bit, and try to do an "easy" cardio workout, and move my TT workout to tomorrow. See, flexible, right?

I made an accomplishment this week that I didn't think I was ever going to make. Ok, I don't want any flak for this, but I take sugar in my coffee. Its not a lot; but I absolutely refuse to do the fake sugar thing, and when I was "training" myself to not drink sweet tea (this was at least a year ago), I was also working on myself to not drink sugar in my coffee. But dang it, with no sugar in the coffee, it was too strong, or something, I don't know. So, the scoop that I have in my little sugar jar is like a teaspoon, and I put in maybe less than 1/4 of it. And that is in a 20 oz tumbler full of coffee. So I don't use A LOT of sugar, but its still there. I also put cream in my coffee. So, all week, my coffee has been too sweet, and I've had to tip some out, and add more coffee to sort of dilute the sugar. Then I had one of those AH-HA moments, and decided to try it without the sugar, to see if maybe the cream was sweet enough for me at this point. IT IS!! No more sugar in my coffee, thanks! Hey, isn't that a song? No sugar tonight in my coffee, no sugar tonight in my tea!! LOL

I have another goal I want to add to my list of goals from the beginning (I told you I'd be adding more). One thing that I REALLY want to glean from this journey is, not only the losing weight and the losing inches, and the looking better and the feeling better; I want this to become a habit. I don't want this to be IT. When my 12 weeks are up, I'm most likely not going to reach my ultimate goal. But, just for S&Gs, lets say I do. I made IT! I did IT! I'm THERE. I'm DONE. Now what? Just stop working out? Stop watching what I eat, because I am where I want to be? How silly is that? Wouldn't that put me right back where I started, eventually? Why would I work so hard to have a sleek, trim, hard little body, just to let it go to rot cause I MADE IT? I don't think so. So, I'm hoping that this 12 weeks of working out everyday, fitting it into my schedule, even if it is a little walk in the park while my son plays T-ball, or if it is a short workout DVD in the house on a few of those days; I want to be able to keep moving. I want this to be a habit I form, that I keep up with, and my kids notice, and think its part of a normal lifestyle to workout, to move, to do SOMETHING every day.

Ok, enough prattling on. I have work to do ;)

Hurtin today

I'm really sore. The kind of sore that you get after so many squats, so now when you do an every day activity, liking sitting on a chair for example, you have no control over the movement, you just sort of fall and hope you land where you aim? Yeah, that's the kind of sore I am right now. Man alive. I'm going to have to do some stretching exercises today; I was planning on doing my intervals, and maybe I will after I get through the stretches, but I'm doing the bodyweight intervals from TT, and they are all squats and lunges and jumping jacks and burpees and all that crazy stuff you sort of need muscle control to do.

I made myself breakfast this morning, and I ended up not eating hardly any of it. See, its just me that uses this stuff; like the peppers and the onions and stuff, and I usually cook the peppers, onions, mushrooms and some turkey sausage (homemade, so it's really turkey breast with lots of seasonings) together, throw in a couple of eggs, and I have my "scramble". Well, since its just me using the peppers and onions, I REALLY hate it when they go bad before being used, and I've read that they can be frozen without any harm to them, as long as they are being cooked. Either I'm not cooking them long enough, or I'm spoiled, because they don't taste very good anymore. They were fine the first 2 days, but today, not so much. *SIGH* Guess I'll have to start figuring something else out. I'll start putting them on my salad for lunch, which I usually do, but maybe I'm just not putting on enough. I don't know...

Will check back in later for update on workout. Tomorrow is Friday!! That means I'm off, and I have a huge house to clean. And a long "bored" list that I'm itching to get to. And a ton of e-books to read! LOL.

FINALLY Did it

And I am wore out, too. Dang, I forgot how hard it was in the beginning. Its one thing to put it all down on paper, and get yourself all psyched up about it; its another thing to struggle to do that last set of reps because your muscles are so weak, your knees are afraid to unlock because you might just fall down. Needless to say, I only did the strength training today; guess the cardio intervals will have to be tomorrow. And that's no big deal; that's totally fine. I'll work my way up to doing it all in one day. But, I DID IT.

So, I was thinking about it, and I decided that maybe me getting sick on day 1 wasn't necessarily a sign of things to come; maybe it was more of an object lesson that I don't have to be perfect all the time. Are those 2 days that I lost going to make a difference in the end, compared to the rest of the 12 weeks? Not really. That's why its ok to have a cheat meal once a week. Its OK not to be perfect. Just do the best that you can do, and it will all fall into place. There's no need stressing about any of it; just do it.

So, I've kept myself a running list of projects that I can do to sort of keep my mind, body, hands, etc. occupied so I don't rummage through the pantry looking for a snack or anything. Several on my list are lists, lol, of things to do when I get bored, things to eat when I don't want to cook, things to eat when I don't have time to cook, etc. I made my bored list today; and I'm currently researching about once a month cooking; the idea to cook once, freeze it all, and then have meals for a month. I probably won't take it to that extreme right off the bat; I'll have to ease into it, figure out 1 or 2 meals I can double or triple, and then see how it goes. If I get it going right, I can do something nearly every night; just double or triple whatever is for dinner that night, and I will have something in the freezer to heat on the days we barely have time to eat, let alone cook and eat, or the days I don't feel like putting together a meal at all. More on that to come.

So, here is my "What to do when I'm bored" List. I'm sure some of it is self-explanatory; some of it will probably only mean something to me, and surely I'll be expanding on it as time passes.

work in garden
work on crochet project
work on cross stitch project
read a book
take a nap
take a walk
clean a room
go outside and walk the yard, thinking up ideas for changes
look up information on a recipe, gardening, or anything else
brush teeth
brush hair
wash face
pedicure
manicure
go through closet
go through drawers
work on list for summer
work on garden for next year
post a blog
work on picture albums
work on scrap books
clean off computer
plan landscape for yard
make a list of house "wants"
prepare a meal for freezing


Another thing I've decided to do; I'm going to daily change my calender at the bottom for my workouts; blue means success, red means didn't happen. That way, I have a visual of my progress, and whether I need to step it up a notch. ;)

See you tomorrow!

None today, thanks

Well, I'm still hanging in there, doing good with my meals, but I still wasn't up to snuff to doing a workout today. I have GOT to do something tomorrow, this is making me crazy with stress.

Margie, Lynda, and everyone else, you have no idea what your comments do for me. I think it would be sort of depressing to be here, "talking to myself" through this blog. Thank you so much for posting uplifting comments for me, it really helps me keep my spirit up and want to continue on through this. You have no idea how you've helped me through this beginning.

More tomorrow...

A sign of things to come??

You would not believe what happened to me yesterday. I can't even believe it happened to me!! I got sick yesterday, and couldn't work out.

God, does that sound like the lamest excuse or what?? "I got sick". Well, let me expand on that, because it sounds like I had a cough or the sniffles or something. Oh, no.

About 10 yesterday morning, my stomach started hurting. Like I had swallowed acid, and it was coating my stomach. I thought maybe I had drank too much coffee, since I hadn't eaten anything that morning, so I got up to get me some water. The pain slowly intensified, and I took some antacid, and went and laid down for a little while to see if that would make it better. When I got back up, it was to send my supervisor an email that I wasn't going to be able to work the rest of the day, and somehow I stumbled back into the bedroom. I was SICK! I was so weak, I could barely keep from falling down. My stomach pain had worsened, and was my entire abdominal area, with the majority of it radiating down to my right hip.

I tried calling my doctor, but apparently they take a 2-hour lunch break from 11:30 to 1:30. If I hadn't been home alone, and felt like I couldn't even move, let alone drive, I would have taken myself to the hospital, it was that bad. I ended up curled up in a ball on my bed, writhing around in pain, with my bucket beside my bed in case I ended up throwing up. I felt so bad.

Eventually, the pain subsided enough for me to get some sleep, as long as I didn't move, or, you know, breathe. When I woke up, the pain was only there with movement, my whole abdominal area between my ribcage and hip bones. It almost was like my internal organs were bruised, and so they were fine unless I put any pressure on them; sneezing, laughing, moving, breathing....

I never did throw up, even though I thought I was going to. I was able to stick to my ESE, though! (I know, its not funny). So, needless to say, I didn't get my workout in yesterday. And I'm really pissed off about it. What a way to start my 12-week journey, huh? I'm frustrated about it, and not really sure what to do. As of now, I don't know if I will be able to work out today, either; I'm still really sore (internally). So, should I shove the whole thing back a week? Or hope that as the day goes by, I'll be able to do some sort of light activity, and then pick back up on the hardcore stuff tomorrow? I don't know. I know that I very nearly cried because of this, messing my plan up; in the very beginning, no less. It always seems like something like this happens to me; and I know that sounds like I'm whining, but this was beyond my control, and it wasn't something small that I turned into something big. This was big, and it screwed up my plans, and it seems like something always happens to me when I start something new; thinking back on it, it always feels like an excuse I made to myself to not be able to start, but this is not an excuse. Is this a sign? I don't want it to be! I want to get where I want to be! I don't want to have a million starts, but no end because I was never able to complete what I started! I want to be beautiful and fit and lean. **SIGH**

I'll drop in tomorrow to say whether or not I was able to work out.

And...She's off!

Well, today is Monday. Day 1 of my journey. I did everything yesterday to get this initiated; I took my pictures, took my measurements, and posted them all over the place. So, my first weeks' measurements are on my chart, and I will post the photo here at the end. I turned the photo in for the contest, and now we are on a roll.

I meant to post every day, but Saturday I just wanted OFF the computer for one lousy day! And yesterday, I never really got time to do it, there were different things going on around here. I did get in a workout yesterday; did some yoga. Such a wonderful thing; nice for stretching, and it got my muscles humming. I always feel so good when I do yoga; I don't know why I ever quit doing it.

So, today I'm going to do my TT workout; intermediate A. and for intervals, I'll be doing the bodyweight intervals. I probably won't post much on my workouts here, other than I did it.

As far as my eating goes, I did really well yesterday. When I got a chocolate craving, I fixed myself a chocolate protein shake with ice and coffee; that seemed to help settle it down. I remembered that I wanted to try the Eat Stop Eat system, but hadn't incorporated it into my meal plans. Normally, on the weekends, we get so off routine, we sometimes don't eat lunch until 3 or 4; and IF we eat dinner, its pretty close to bedtime. So, I decided to take advantage of that, and do my ESE night on Sunday night, when I'm already most likely not going to eat dinner. I just have to get through today; around 4 is when I can have something, so no breakfast other than coffee, and no lunch. But I will be drinking tons of water today.

Well, I guess that's all for now; now that it has begun. I will do check-ins daily to say whether or not I did my workout, and also will be posting my food on my spreadsheet. I'm so excited, but sort of less stressed out now that it has begun. Its been so great to have people commenting on my blog; most of you I know from way back when, and its so wonderful to "see" you again! And it makes me feel really good to have someone I DON'T know come and take a look and post a comment for me. It helps me with the accountability, with the thought that there are those that are checking up on me ;).

Here's the picture I submitted for the contest. I will either post again today or tomorrow with the success of today.

3 to go

So, I got really frustrated at FitDay yesterday. Yesterday, I had said that I was going to use FitDay to keep up with my meals, as another way to be accountable, and then have the link posted on my blog, so anyone at any given time could go and look and see how I was doing. Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and input my first weeks' meals in, so that all I had to do was change what was different or keep it the same, and that way I could look at what I had planned to see if it all seemed appropriate. WELL, after about 2 hours working on it yesterday, I got really frustrated. First of all, when you are searching for something, you can't just put in "green beans" and find green beans. You have to do beans, green, and then it gives you about 14 pages of beans to get through to find what you are looking for. Or bell peppers. Or chicken breast, for crying out loud!! It got to the point where I was adding everything in as a custom food, by clicking on Calorie King, looking up the nutritional facts, and the inputting them into FitDay. Well, I nearly got the week completed, but another thing that was frustrating me was that I have to input every single item every single day! I can't, for example, have a "template" or have a way to use a few of the same things if I'm eating the same breakfast or lunch or I have some of the staples that are the same in my diet on a daily basis. So, I gave up on FitDay, and decided that I will go back to some spreadsheets that I already had made up from about 2 years ago, when I was on the Dream Team, trying to do BFFM. This way, I can keep track of what I'm eating daily and weekly, I can customize the meals to me, and I can copy and paste the ones that are used over and over and over again. SO, the link for these is now in place of where my FitDay journal link was. There isn't anything there yet, except my spreadsheet; tonight, I will work on filling in as many of the meals as I regularly eat as I can, and then filling in next weeks' food choices.

I posted a question today on a few forums I'm active on, as well as a bulletin on MySpace, sort of getting people involved and interested and reading about my plans...I don't know if I just worded it wrong, or what, but people seemed to think I was asking advice. I'll post it here, and then I recap at the bottom...

Hey guys!! I have a question for all of you who care to help me out with it; if you've ever tried to stick to a diet, or workout, or meet a goal, maybe you can give me some insight. Like I said before, I've been working on my blog, which I am going to use as a tracking tool for this transformation contest I'm going to join on Monday. I'm trying to get everything ready between now and then that will help me ensure my success; I've got my meals planned out for the week and loosely planned for the month; I have my workouts planned out, I'm going to be documenting my food on fit day, and I have a spreadsheet that I'm keeping track of my weight, inch, and fat loss on. I'm trying to be fully prepared for this one; I want this one to be the one that I stick to.



So, my question is, what things happen or come up or are there that seem to hinder you from making your appropriate choices? Like, for food, what causes you to "cheat" or choose the less good of the choices? What about for those of you who exercise, what comes up or happens to cause you not to exercise that day?

The reason I'm asking is because I want to see if this is something that will come up for me, and I want to make a list of ways and strategies and techniques to avoid these pitfalls for me.

I already have a few that I'm going to be working on this weekend;
Things to do when I'm bored
Things to eat when I don't feel like cooking
Things to eat when I don't have time to cook.



I would love any more insight from anybody that will help me be fully prepared for this next 12 weeks to sticking to my plan and making my goal!

So, no. I wasn't asking "how can I stick to my program!!" I was asking, basically, what excuses do you use to get out of sticking to your program, so that I can customize my own way around that particular excuse. I got some great answers from one person, but everyone else is giving me advice.

Here are some of mine...alcohol and stress are my 2 biggies. I lose all ambition and start making excuse why its just one night. Which usually turns into 2-5 days depsite my best intentions and well, excuses.

More are I can start immediately back over, just a little, I don't have time, one bite is not going to hurt.
I gotta.....insert whatever excuse is the one for the moment........instead.
Fast food is easier (like the fast food restaurants don't have on plan/healthy choices!
I want it and deserve it, I had a hard day, worked so hard, am so tired....on and on.
I don't have time. I am too tired. I don't feel like cooking. It was a party, everyone else was havign fun and indulging, I felt left out.
I don't have time to plan. I don't wanna. I donlt have any will power.
There are millions that I can think of to justify my obsession with trying to lose weight.

I have gotten past these for the most part. Recognizing them is a biggie. Acting on them is another. I got tired of lieing to myself. Like my dad says, "If you are looking for an excuse, any one will do."

So, I definitely have plenty more work ahead of me; and I realize this can be a never ending process. I realize I can prepare myself to death, and just be sick of the whole thing before I even get started. I'm not trying to do that, I just want to identify any snags that may occur, because they have before, and try to work out a plan of action to get around those snags so that my journey may be a bit more smooth this time. I am not anticipating this to be a breeze; nor am I thinking that there WON'T be any snags. Just as long as I can take care of the ones I foresee, I won't have given up so early in the game. And maybe, I will have more confidence in myself when the other snags pop up.

I am trying my hand at positive self talk, really trying to pump myself up for this. I need a method for catching myself when I'm in the negative talk; I don't want to let that continue. I KNOW I can do this. I KNOW that I WILL do this. I KNOW that I will feel so fantastic and beautiful each and every day, BECAUSE I am doing this. I know that when this journey is over, that's not the end of the road for me; that's just the end of this particular trip. There are more to come, and this isn't a quick fix for anything. This is a way for me to get into the habit of doing what I should have been doing all along, and what I need to continue to do throughout my life; eat right, exercise, plan the moments and parts of the day I have control of, learn to let go of those that I don't, and accept what comes along.

I posted some pictures at the bottom of the blog if anyone is interested in seeing...3 more days before my official start picture will be posted...

T minus 4 and counting

Today is Thursday, May 1. I am starting my transformation on Monday, May 5. Sunday, I will take all my measurements, my pictures, and get the beginning of my progress sheets and formulas started for this 12-week journey. I have already started posting a few things on my blog; I have a link to the chart of my progress, which is just a spreadsheet I'm using to keep track of my weekly measurements; there is also a link to my FitDay journal, so I can keep track of what I eat on a daily basis.

Yesterday, I said that I wasn't going to weigh myself during the 12-week process; just in the beginning and then at the end. Now, I'm wondering if I should rescind that; if I weigh myself, I can use several different formulas and "calculators" that I have to help me keep track of my body fat percentage, which uses a combination of things like my body weight and site measurements, that I will be taking on a weekly basis. I'm still not sure...

I posted my workout schedule for the 12-week process; its posted at the bottom of my blog. I have decided for the first 4 weeks to do the TT intermediate workout; the next 4 weeks to do the TT for Women workout, and then the last 4 weeks will be doing phase 1 of the TT Female Strength. I'm hoping to be able to do an unassisted chin up by the end of this journey, as well. That would be awesome.

I'm still working out what I'll do for my interval training; I believe for the first 4 weeks, I will do the TT bodyweight interval workout, just because I have that and I'm not sure what else to do. I'm hoping by the end of the first 4 weeks, I will have renewed my gym membership (for the pool, wo-hoo!) and will be able to do interval training on machines up there. I also left my other days fairly vague, with just "Cardio" and "Flex" training in the spots on the days I'm going to do that, instead of actually saying what I'm going to do. I will be posting daily what I did on those days, but I don't want to be too rigid. I have given myself options, and when I say "Cardio", I know what that means by way of what options I have. When the pool opens in June, swimming can be one of my cardio options, but I won't know what days I'll be able to utilize that choice. So, I left it fairly vague.

I'm currently working on my menu plan for the 12-week journey. That, too, will be somewhat vague, in that my dinner will say "chicken" or "fish" or something along those lines, just so, once again, I'm not restricting my options too much, so I don't feel like I've failed if I don't do exactly what my schedule says. I can't know right now if in 10 weeks I'm still going to enjoy that balsamic chicken recipe! I have a chicken section in my notebook, and so when its a chicken day, I can flip through all the different recipes that are there, and see what piques my interest that day. This way, I have structure and schedule, and yet I still have freedom to change my mind on a recipe.

So, basically, I have a notebook that is broken up in a few portions... I have "This week", for my weekly schedule, which will be a bit more rigid in its menu listing, and also the workout listing. I have a section for "May", which has my May calendar like below, and also my May menu and the training logs for May; there is one for "June", and "July"; then there is a section for "workouts" which has all the TT manuals I am using printed out for reference if I need it; then behind that are my recipe sections; I have "Chicken and turkey", "Beef and pork", "fish and seafood", "eggs and veggie", and "cravings". This last section is where I will keep a list of recipes for whenever I have severe chocolate or whatever cravings, like I usually do when we get to a certain point in the month, that will help me stay on track, and still manage to satisfy my cravings.

I'm still working on a few things, but I'm feeling confident that by the time Monday rolls around, I will be in the proper frame of mind and will be properly prepared to start and complete this transformation!