So, its been a week. and a half. and I haven't made good on my promise to myself to keep up with this blog.
In all fairness, its not attached to my "regular" E-mail, so its kind of a pain to log out of my E-mail, log into the gmail account that is attached to this blog, all to make a post.... normally I would work on a post in my E-mail and save to my drafts, but then I wouldn't be able to access it because I would have to log out of my E-mail to get to the blogger page. Oh well, I'll figure something out.
One week in and.... I'm not really doing all that great. I've given in several times and eaten "off course", and of course a mean AF coming to visit doesn't do well for my eating habits. Craving chocolate nonstop for a week will kill anyones resolve. So, I'm just now coming out of that.
and I keep having second thoughts.... I KNOW I can do this. I can cut out the grains and the sugar and lose the weight, it may take me all damn winter/spring, but I can do it. and I'm thinking that when we are "done" we will transition to more traditional foods, with the sprouted/soaked wheat, etc..
but now, i'm having second thoughts about that.... because I'm really struggling. I guess my hearts not in it, because I've done it before, I know i can do it... Maybe I should just suck it up. Maybe I should do more experimenting with almond and coconut flours. Maybe I should start working out like I've been saying, oh, I don't know, my whole life. I don't know, I'm feeling lost. in several aspects of my life right now, actually. Things with school didn't pan out, and I'm sort of feeling like, I don't know this wall between me and the internet world. its strange to say that the internet has all my friends, but its pretty much true. and I'm feeling a withdrawing .... I don't know if its me or everyone else. Usually a good rule, is that if its more than just a few, usually its me with the problem, not them.
I'm really dragging with work... I don't want to do it anymore. its sucking the love and life out of me. My hands hurt, I'd rather do anything else but work right now. and I don't know if I'm going to be able to change jobs now, because of the whole school thing. Guess I need to just suck it up and push on. it pays the rent. and a few other bills. Yes, its not enough to live on, but it sure as hell helps.
Guess I got a lot of sucking up to do. but, I suck at sucking it up.
Okay, I don't want to be a downer... I tend to run people off with my downness. lol.
